Blog: How Can You Stop Struggling with Bringing the Change You Want to Your life?

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The best and most obvious example of the difficulty to change is our New Year’s resolutions and their abysmal success rate. We decide that we want a change to happen, be it stopping or starting to do something, but after a couple of weeks, our motivation to change and reach our goals dissipates. This is pretty typical not only for New Year’s resolutions, but also for our approach to change in general. Why do we struggle so much with making changes in our lives, and how do we stop these struggles in order to help us achieve change? Let’s delve deeper.

A Problem with Addressing Change at a Surface Level

Scranton University (US) conducted research that revealed that over 80% of New Year’s resolutions are abandoned by mid-January. Considering this is true for New Year’s resolutions, which we usually feel quite strongly about, it is likely to be even more the case for other goals in our lives, where our motivation to change is markedly lower, or where a request for improvement comes from an external source instead of from within ourselves. Nevertheless, no matter whether coming from an internal or external source, often these change goals are of crucial importance for improving and enhancing our lives; if there is so much at stake in our lives that depends upon our ability to change, why is it so difficult for us to change? There are many reasons, but two stand out in particular. The first reason for this is to do with the fact that we address most changes by forcing ourselves to change our surface behaviours rather than tackling our underlying beliefs. The second is that our habits are automatic and deeply ingrained in our brains because of neural pathways that have been established after repeating these same habits over time.

Let’s take an example of how this difficulty to change may show up in the context of career and improving performance. Assuming that you receive feedback that you need to get better at prioritising and meeting deadlines, there are a number of ways you could inform yourself on how you could make that improvement happen, such as seeking guidance and mentoring from your manager, attending a course, reading a book, and more. However, when attempting to change, you will likely start some new behaviours or stop some others, but oftentimes, after some attempts, you will unfortunately fall back to the old behaviour patterns. You know this change is important and you would like to achieve it, but something holds you back; it feels like you are pressing one foot on the accelerator pedal while the other is on the brakes. This struggle and a lack of consistent change can cause worry or anxiety when it comes to performance reviews, and even become a barrier in career progression.

You Can Stop Struggling with Your Change Goals

Most of us could relate to this experience of struggling with change and feeling stuck in different areas of life where change is needed, be it at work or home, with personal relationships, health, etc. But, there’s no need to panic! With the right guidance and support, you can get unstuck and successfully move forward with your change goals, and even enjoy it in the process.

The right coach can help you approach change at a deeper level than the superficial behavioural change that people typically try (and fail). The key focus here is to examine hidden commitments and limiting beliefs that hold you back from making these changes, and help you overcome them. Once this is accomplished, moving forward will also depend upon you taking committed and repeated actions in the direction of your change goal, and this is something that coaching informed by neuroscience and neuroplasticity can greatly aid you with. As a result, you will be able to establish a consistent change and move forward in a positive manner.

Ultimately, understanding what is holding you back so that you can become unstuck is absolutely essential, and this is one of the most important steps in the process. It is the bedrock of a growth mindset, and a more proactive you with less limitations and a wider spectrum of choices that become available to you as a result. Coaching has an incredible power to support even the most transformational development where your life is transformed for the better, and this is why Coaching Trail may just be what you’ve been searching for. With a growth mindset and a newly discovered ability to truly change, your life will be propelled forward in a positive direction.

Now that you know it’s possible, would you like to stop struggling with change and start transforming your life for the better?

Would like to take your foot off the brakes and propel your life forward with your change goal? Book an Immunity To ChangeTM session with me to help you evoke deeper awareness of what holds you back so you could move forward with a change or new habit!



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Article: Are You Stuck with the Most Important Changes? Succeed with Immunity to Change Mapping.

Many of our core beliefs form when we are children and they affect us as adults in many ways. Commonly, we suffer from limiting beliefs, which are responsible for us allowing sub-optimal behaviours and habits to creep into our brains and lives that eventually start negatively impacting us. It is the same limiting beliefs that hold us back from succeeding in change when we attempt to get rid of these sub-optimal behaviours and habits. To overcome these limiting beliefs and the associated Big Assumptions, we are here to show you how to implement the Immunity to Change framework developed by Harvard Faculty Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey. By participating in the process, you can overcome your unhelpful confirmation bias and examine your underlying self-doubts and concerns truthfully. Discover why your perseverance to change fails despite your motivation when attempting self-improvement or significant projects, then smash right through those barriers and close the gap between your good intentions for change and your actual behaviours!

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